Your abusive ex-partner will try to dazzle you with attention. Return all gifts he sends you â unopened and unacknowledged. Keep your communications with him to the bare, cold, minimum. Do not be impolite or abusive â it is precisely how he wants you to behave. It may be used against you in a court of law. Keep your cool but be firm.

Do not let him re-enter your life surreptitiously. Stealth and ambient abuse are powerful tools. Refuse him entry to your premises. Do not even respond to the intercom. Do not talk to him on the phone. Hang up the minute you hear his voice while making clear to him, in a single, polite but unambiguous, sentence, that you are determined not to talk to him, that it's over for good.

Do not succumb to your weakness. It is tough living alone. You are bound to miss him horribly at times, selectively recalling only the good moments and the affection in your doomed relationship. Do not "dip" into the poisonous offerings of your abuser. Do not relapse. Be strong. Fill your life with new hobbies, new interests, new friends, new loves, and a new purpose.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)


This movie is part of the collection: Community Video

Producer: Sam Vaknin
Audio/Visual: sound
Keywords: abuse; antisocial; battering; divorce; domestic violence; dsm-iv; ego; harassment; narcissism; narcissistic; narcissistic personality disorder; npd; object relations; personality; personality disorders; psychodynamics; psychopaths; psychotherapy; relationships; self; spousal abuse; stalking; psychopathology; therapy

Creative Commons license: Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0

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